Friday, May 15, 2009

And We're Off...

Well, I'm off, at least. As I type this, I am sitting in seat 38 of the 2PM BoltBus from New York to Washington, DC. Technically, I guess this weekend isn't part of the official road trip, since it doesn't officially start until I meet up with Andy in Cincinnati, but I'm considering it an undercard to the 2-week main event. You can look forward to at least one ballpark review and maybe a restaurant review coming out of it.

So, I'm on a bus. Never thought I'd be on a bus...with wifi. BoltBus definitely gets points for that. It also gets points for hiring Kelvin as a driver. If you were casting a movie and wanted a friendly, black, bald bus driver, he'd be your guy. Before we left, he gave his little spiel, told us that until we got to DC, we were "his family," and then said that we should tell him if it was too hot/cold on the bus, if the wifi was out, etc. Kelvin then added, "If you want my attention, just say hey, Kelvin. Not hey, you. Not hey, baldy. Not hey, Montel."

If he had kept going with that thought and moved onto hey, Hootie, I might have had to quote another digital short in this post. Luckily for me, and more importantly, for the people sitting around me, he didn't.

Meanwhile, while BoltBus was gaining points, the state of Delaware was losing them just as quickly. We were stuck in traffic for about 45 minutes only to see that the delay was caused by about 10 dudes in neon vests standing around doing nothing. Understandably, if you're a state with some clout, you can close two lanes of highway for no good reason at 5PM on a Friday afternoon. But not if you're Delaware.

Thanks to those of you that I've gotten feedback about this trip from. If any of you have suggestions for the blog, or for things we should do on the road, let me know. Just say hey, Sam. Not hey, fatass. Not hey, jewbag.... 


  1. Hey jewbag -

    I was driving up to AC last summer on the Saturday of Labor Day Weekend, and Delaware pulled the exact same shit on me. They'd closed an off-ramp for something. AN OFF RAMP. On the Saturday of Labor Day Weekend. I nearly had a stroke. It took me the length of a Chili Peppers album to get ten miles through that state. I fucking hate Delaware.

  2. hey jewbag

    i was driving down 95 at 9:30 on a friday night and the state of massachusetts had decided to close the entire side of the highway i was on. it was for a gay wedding. no, it was for paving, but i was still irritated.